Having a really weird moment at the minute. I suddenly feel like I'm in some sort of weird consciousness in my head and it's like I'm the last person on earth. I remember been on mushrooms once. I took quite a high dose of dryed shrooms one balmy spring day and went on the wildest trip of a lifetime. In the house I used to rent my room had a weird border going around on the walls. This started to shrink for me as I came up. I could feel the shrooms hitting and i was hurtling through psychedelic space at warp speed. The border became a blur as i felt myself getting thrown into space.
Suddenly I was in an egg shaped pod floating through space. The pod seemed to know where it was going. Though I was aware i could be in control if i wanted to be. I remember feeling a sense of panic rising in me. But my curiously got the better of me. I looked around and saw about 50 other pods all floating but we seemed so far apart too. I remember panicking a little cos my logical scientific geek mind was telling me this wasn't possible. But i knew i had to keep going. It was a huge battle of wills.
Suddenly I realised I could hear a voice'inside' my head but everyone could hear it. They too as mystified as me. Then our pods turned. We were facing the earth. A huge blue planet. We could see clouds we could see countries. We couldn't hear anything. Then it blew apart right from the middle then it exploded..
It was like all our consciousness, of all these pod people, we were all connected. (my theory was that in the 'real world' me and these other 49 people were all tripping at the same time and somehow ended up on the same psychedelic trip) We all feel abject terror at this happening but in a split second we realised we'd been saved for whatever bizarre reason. I still don't know who or why. It was a terrifying yet wondrous experience. I've never forgotten it. I've never forgotten the sheer emptiness I had, the utter loneliness I felt in that pod. I never want to feel that ever again. It was like for a few minutes everything, literally EVERYTHING taken away from you. You have nothing. It's the weirdest,most alienated feeling in the world.
But then realising you were floating about safe, thinking after the explosion for some reason you were saved. Not by a God or some other mythical creature, just like the universe saved you. Not following the 'norm' in life saved you. Been you, and not conforming to society saved you,. It is ok to be weird, a little odd, a little kooky.. You always are important to someone even when you think you're not.
I wish I could remember that sometimes...