Wednesday, 19 September 2012

Long Distance Love

I've only had 2 real proper relationships. I was with my ex for nearly 8 years. We got together in our early 20s.i was just finishing college he was working in a train station . We met through my friend Ash. We hot it of straight away and after a couple of weeks we start seeing each other. Over the next few years we laughed, cried, grew together, experienced a lot of things together, good and bad. In the last couple of years we weren't getting on so great particularly in the last year. I guess really we both had outgrown the relationship. One day as we were talking I just kind of blurted out that I didn't think it was working. Then I couldn't stop talking. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. He moved away 6 weeks later. At the time i was heart broken. He was my best friend and suddenly he was gone. I found it weird been on my own after 8 years . you get so used to thinking for two. But we still remain friends which is a lot more than most people can say. Some people just can't understand how we can still be friends. But we never fucked eachother over. We never hurt eachother. We just simply grew apart and became more like friends. When we do meet up which isn't often as he lives abroad, its like 2 mates having a laugh. In fact we get on so much better now we aren't romantically /sexually involved. It's kind of weird in a way that when I do hang out with him It's weird to think we were together. I know that seems a bit weird but i guess it's because we are so different now to the us back then. We would never get back together though. That's definitely not on the cards but it's nice to still have the friendship at the end of it all.

I had a disastrous rebound after that. I won't go into too much detail cos it's a bit personal but man, I ended up with basically a man child. So tied to his mother's apron strings it wasn't funny. He was so possessive and had a nasty streak. He would call me 4-5-6 times a day. If I didn't answer he'd go mental. Accusing me if all sorts. He'd text me, ring me all hours. He smothered me. He was such a child. So i ended that quickly.

Then I thought fuck it i dont want a relationship. I need to be on my own for a while. And I was for nearly a year. The rebound had fucked me up. It's true what they say about rebounds lol.. Just stay away. It took me a long time to get over what happened with rebound guy. But then I met Michael.

Sometimes in life you just meet someone that makes everything in life suddenly make sense. We've had our ups and downs but no matter what we've stuck by eachother. Hes a pretty amazing guy with so much patience. We are both in a very difficult position as we live in 2 different countries and one of us is going to have to eventually move. We both have things tying us to where we are. It's so hard as we both love each other so much. I just don't know why when you finally are happy, in love, why there still has to be so many obstacles. I want to be with him so much. I miss him terribly and i miss his cuddles. Hes a pretty special guy to me. It's just different with him. It feels more permanent. I just hope the distance doesn't ruin it a for us. I think if we can survive a phyco friend trying to tear us apart we can survive this. I hope :)

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