Saturday, 10 March 2012

My secret past

So way back when Magic Mushrooms were  legal through a weird loophole in our laws, i figured it would be rude not to partake. Now everyone knows me to be a nerd.A huge nerd but an intelligent nerd . So if any of my nieces or nephews read this i trust you will come to me if you were ever tempted and i am in no way glorifying my illicit past... But i did my research first. I read about mushrooms, went onto forums , read a lot of Terence McKenna and memoirs from all the crazy 60s 'hippies' etc.

But the day came and i had taken the weekend of work. The first ones i tried were Truffles. We had got them in from Britain through Mail order. They look like lumps of shit and tasted bad. I was with my ex at the time and we both took them. To be honest , despite all my reading etc i was still very nervous doing them cos i didn't know what to expect cos everyones trip is different and every trip you take is different. We had a 3 story house at the time and were in one of the bedrooms lying on a bed each waiting to come up listening to Leonard Cohen. I started to come up pretty quickly but was getting a bit freaked out. I was trying to stay calm cos  i didn't want to freak my ex out but he in turn was freaking out too lol. But i have a VERY active imagination where he was just feeling ill.

He turned to me and said Tray are you OK, and i was crying saying 'i don't like this i don't like this' and he jumped up to come over to me but midway he said 'fuck I'm going to be sick' and ran into the bathroom. I somehow got up to go into him . He was gone white and as he started to throw up, for reasons unknown to me i tried to catch his puke, lol. He had pretty much puked up his mushrooms but i had ingested mine and i ended up sitting in the hall against the Bannister's cracking up laughing saying 'why did i try to catch it' with puke in my hand. I was lying on the floor banging it with my hand cracking up laughing and then crying then laughing. It took a while but suddenly i came up and the world was colourful and bright. oh and i saw a monkey in dungarees and a straw hat chewing a piece of hay sitting on my stereo.

I don't remember a lot after that only what was told to me. It was a very spiritual experience for me and very personal so I'm not going to go into that first one to much but it changed my whole outlook on life. I guess then i became what i am now. I guess when your doors have been blown open its hard to ignore what you've been told or saw durning this time. I was a wee bit crazy before that first trip. I was very hyper , didn't know where i belonged, feel very lonely.I wondered a lot why i was here and suffered badly with depression. I guess i was lost but that first trip saved me. I truly believe that.

But enough of the heavy stuff. I tripped consistently for about 3-4 years. I was thinking 2 years but defiantly 3 years at least. I have lost count of how many but easily 200 times. I loved it. I mostly had fantastic trips with a handful of bad ones. I don't regret it at all and i wish i could still do it but due to having Fibromylgia i would be afraid to do it now with my medication etc and its a central nervous syndrome so taking a trip i think would fuck me up completely. So i stick with weed nowadays. Each trip was different, i learnt more about myself, the world, space, organisms, the universe and i realised when i was at the peak of my trip i saw spirits and Ghosts. and could interact with them. I know that sounds a bit crazy but i could. It was such an experience for me and sometimes i wish i could still do one for old times sake .

But my ex didn't trip as much as me. I was a consistent tripper lol. But this led to him playng tricks on me. We had 2 cats at the time that we had rescued from a cat shelter called Buster and Casper. Buster was deaf and a little grumpy but was so beautiful and cute, he would often after he learnt to trust us  (he had been abused horrifically before we got him), sit beside me and purr soooooo loud. He also didn't know how loud he miaowed either cos he was deaf so he would deafen you :D But when i tripped he would never leave me. He was always there watching me. Casper was a huge cat. A total child. He was so funny and was always up to mischief. But Buster was a lot quieter and more refined not like Casper the clown lol..anyway I'm digressing. This one time, (at band camp) :D i was tripping and Buster was on the bed. I was off my bean at the time and was lying beside him stroking him telling him how beautiful he was and all that madness when suddenly he started 'talking' back to me. I was AMAZED by this. So there was me and buster having this conversation and i was asking him how could he hear me and he replied 'i can lip read mammy' I was just amazed. I turned to my ex and said, ' can you hear Buster talking' and he was like what ? nooo.. This went on for a good 40 minutes until i started coming down and i realised it was my ex talking and the cat was just looking at me like i was mad.

Another time i was off my bean tripping and i jumped up and said 'oh my god i know where it is'  and ran out the room. My ex came running after me going what are you talking about come back.. and i exclaimed loudly as i was opening the window..THE TRUTH, THE ANSWER ITS ON THE ROOF.. and he dragged me back and said what truth and i was like i don't know but the answer to the question i don't know is up there on the roof. Another time my wall disappeared and i ended up in a pod floating through space with other pod people . We were escaping the earth as it had blown up and we were the only survivors. I know there was a lot more that happened while i tripped and I'm sure ill do more blogs as i remember different stuff on it so i guess as they say in Television... Stay Tuned for more :)

1 comment:

  1. lol pod people. you're crazy babe. i love you so much