Friday, 30 March 2012

Its a pain

So as i mentioned before i have Fibromyaglia and ME. Its a neurological syndrome that most people don't understand or even more annoyingly say, 'it'll be grand everyone gets tired now and then' ME is chronic fatigue syndrome. Its pretty much like recovering from the flu all the time. I rarely have good days. I try not let it interfere in my day to day life but its impossible. Right now my shoulders are burning me, like pain radiating from my shoulders down my arms. My fingers are stinging me and my back going into my legs are just painful. On top of all that i am exhausted the whole time and not getting enough sleep exaggerates my condition. I am on medication for it , they keep the symptoms at bay but if i stop taking them for a day or two i end up in a heap. Fibro fog is another very annoying aspect to it. It makes me very forgetful and anxious as sometimes i could be walking down the road and momentarily forget where i am and where I'm going. I get bad dizzy spells that result in whats like electric shocks going through my body.

I'm not writing this blog for sympathy or anything like it. I just want people to understand. I'm sick explaining it to the same people over and over again. I would give anything not to have this. I very rarely mention it to people and mostly just pretend everything is fine. I hate people feeling sorry for me. At the end of the day i could have something worse. My biggest passion is playing  video games. I collect consoles and games and have quite the collection including some rare boxed games , 9 consoles and 2 handhelds. i have over 800 games. But quite a bit of the time i cant play. Either cos i have a headache, or sore hands. Its frustrating. I also have to cancel from time to time with friends when we've planned stuff. I always feel so bad and am thankful i have such great understanding friends, (Tammy, Ashy, Declan, Pierce) I have an 80s themed party planned for my friends, including watching 80s films,(the goonies, batteries not included, add your own, friends lol) watching ALF lol, and playing retro consoles. Eating 80s food and drinks. I think we will all get very drunk and stoned...

I have a wonderful boyfriend who always thinks he's not helping. But has no idea how much he actually does. He listens and makes me feel better all the time. Him just being there means so much more to me than he realises. Recently we were on holiday in Cornwall with Andrea and Billy when on the 2nd last day after a long day out , i had a flare up. We were supposed to be going out for dinner that night but i couldn't. No one went and i felt so bad. I was lying on the bed with Michael and his arms were wrapped around me. He got up to put his snuggie over me and just sat there holding me. I don't know how long i was in and out for but when i came too properly, Michael was still sitting there, still with his arms around me just holding me. I was nearly 4 hours in the flare up and he just held me. Even when it got dark and he couldn't see anything. He just held me. This guy is the most loving guy in the world and i am really lucky to have him in my life. I love you so much baby and you been in my life , caring for me the way you do means so much to me. You're my soulmate x

Fibro will always be in my life but i am thankful i have friends who text me and email me regular just to check up on me. It means a lot to me to have you all in my life. Love you all xx

Sausage Fingers

When i was tripping on Mushrooms one time i came up with an ingenious idea that everyone mocked and laughed but I'm having the last laugh because the Japanese have come up with the same idea i had albeit a slight twist on my idea but still, same name. The idea was SAUSAGE FINGERS.

Now, my idea was a simple one. Sometimes in the morning you just don't simply have enough time for breakfast. *i hear ya, shouts no one in particular* But you would love a sausage or an egg *who has the time, shouts the heckler* Well with my invention AKA sausage fingers , skipping breakfast is a thing of the past. Simply pop on my patented* heat-o-glove  and pop the sausages on 4 of your fingers. As you travel to work they will cook as you travel. For the egg aficionados among us the new improved glove will have a heat pad in the middle to crack and cook an egg.

By the time you get to work , 4 sausages and an egg later you will be full and ready for a days work. I cant see a single flaw in this idea to be quite frank. Its just plain crazy that no one would finance it or even give me the time of day to listen to my pitch.

And NOOOOW, the Japanese have invented Sausage i said not quite the same, as their idea is basically a new type of glove you can wear but for touch phones. If its cold you can still use their so called 'sausage fingers' and never have to take you re gloves off. But theres a major flaw in this idea... you need one hand to hold the hand to type Where will my glove go ? You want to be hungry going into work like the Japanese will be??

 If you don't, and i cant blame you then join me in boycotting all that is Japanese and until i get a prototype built and make my pitch on Dragons Den for finance.. then my lengthy European court case to get the name 'sausage fingers' back where it belongs!!!

Friday, 23 March 2012

Just a short one... That's what she said..


Bazingas aside,  i had a weird encounter today in Tesco.  I was buying some groceries when i made my way to the snack aisle as you do.. I knew I'd be getting quite high later and would get epic style munchies.  I was perusing the various corn and maize snacks when i heard someone singing 'No Limits' by 2unlimited.  The 5ft Dutch sensations of techno.

I turned around, expecting to see a time travelling 90's person.  What I saw was jar droppingly,  is droppinly a word??  I don't think so...  Bizarre sight. It was a woman with a trolley and a soother/pacifer/dummy hanging from her mouth by the handle, singing 'no, no limits.. No, no limits.. Darn darn darn darn darn down.. [that's the techno bit] over and over. Then stopping and walk a different direction and repeating it like a depressed polar bear in a zoo.  If he could talk. 

I got quite alarmed when she got in my personal space doing it.  But i reacted the way one should when approached by a shark.. I stood deathly still and dared not to breathe as she waltzed paat me.. 'no, no limits.. No, no limits'... When the danger past I fled, throwing children behind me as I ran.

Saturday, 10 March 2012


For nearly 8 months now i have been in a relationship with Michael . Unfortunately i live in Ireland and he lives in the U.K. We met first on facebook cos i commented on a link on Sony Playstation and he liked it and then liked some photos on my page. He did send a friend request at the time but i declined it because i had come out of a bad rebound after meeting someone on line and was not in the mood for another 'freak' lol. He had an android as his picture ....anyway he requested me on PSN and i accepted but i didn't know it was him.

After a few weeks i was looking through my photos and saw his name again so i had a nosey at who he was and saw his picture for the first time and i just fell in love instantly. He reminded me of Keith Moon from The Who. I sent a request to him straight away and he accepted straight away lol . We just talked non stop for days after. We both discovered we had so much in common is was spooky. Same interests in games, music, films, TV shows, hated Apple and Microsoft. We both hate the Xbox with a passion  and own PS3's

Over the months we've been together , i have never felt so close to someone and so loved by someone like he does. He is the most wonderful guy in the world and makes me feel so wanted. He always says the right things when I'm upset . I have Fibromyalgia and find it difficult to cope and even though he isn't physically here with me , he is always at the other end of the phone checking on me and telling me he loves me. No matter what our relationship throws at us, we always have each other and get through it. When we are together whether I'm there or he's here its so magical and wonderful. We can never keep our hands of each other and finish each others sentences lol. He is so right for me that i cant imagine my life without him. Hes my soul mate and i want everything with him.

I will be seeing him in a few days. I miss him so much and cant wait to see him again.On Valentines Day i woke up to a package downstairs for me. I had no clue what it was but when i opened it, there a big monkey with a heart , a box of chocolates and a card from Michael with the most beautiful message written inside. I was not expecting anything at all so it just took me by surprise.   He is one of the best and i don't intend on ever letting him go :)

I love you with all my heart Baby and i always will <3

My secret past

So way back when Magic Mushrooms were  legal through a weird loophole in our laws, i figured it would be rude not to partake. Now everyone knows me to be a nerd.A huge nerd but an intelligent nerd . So if any of my nieces or nephews read this i trust you will come to me if you were ever tempted and i am in no way glorifying my illicit past... But i did my research first. I read about mushrooms, went onto forums , read a lot of Terence McKenna and memoirs from all the crazy 60s 'hippies' etc.

But the day came and i had taken the weekend of work. The first ones i tried were Truffles. We had got them in from Britain through Mail order. They look like lumps of shit and tasted bad. I was with my ex at the time and we both took them. To be honest , despite all my reading etc i was still very nervous doing them cos i didn't know what to expect cos everyones trip is different and every trip you take is different. We had a 3 story house at the time and were in one of the bedrooms lying on a bed each waiting to come up listening to Leonard Cohen. I started to come up pretty quickly but was getting a bit freaked out. I was trying to stay calm cos  i didn't want to freak my ex out but he in turn was freaking out too lol. But i have a VERY active imagination where he was just feeling ill.

He turned to me and said Tray are you OK, and i was crying saying 'i don't like this i don't like this' and he jumped up to come over to me but midway he said 'fuck I'm going to be sick' and ran into the bathroom. I somehow got up to go into him . He was gone white and as he started to throw up, for reasons unknown to me i tried to catch his puke, lol. He had pretty much puked up his mushrooms but i had ingested mine and i ended up sitting in the hall against the Bannister's cracking up laughing saying 'why did i try to catch it' with puke in my hand. I was lying on the floor banging it with my hand cracking up laughing and then crying then laughing. It took a while but suddenly i came up and the world was colourful and bright. oh and i saw a monkey in dungarees and a straw hat chewing a piece of hay sitting on my stereo.

I don't remember a lot after that only what was told to me. It was a very spiritual experience for me and very personal so I'm not going to go into that first one to much but it changed my whole outlook on life. I guess then i became what i am now. I guess when your doors have been blown open its hard to ignore what you've been told or saw durning this time. I was a wee bit crazy before that first trip. I was very hyper , didn't know where i belonged, feel very lonely.I wondered a lot why i was here and suffered badly with depression. I guess i was lost but that first trip saved me. I truly believe that.

But enough of the heavy stuff. I tripped consistently for about 3-4 years. I was thinking 2 years but defiantly 3 years at least. I have lost count of how many but easily 200 times. I loved it. I mostly had fantastic trips with a handful of bad ones. I don't regret it at all and i wish i could still do it but due to having Fibromylgia i would be afraid to do it now with my medication etc and its a central nervous syndrome so taking a trip i think would fuck me up completely. So i stick with weed nowadays. Each trip was different, i learnt more about myself, the world, space, organisms, the universe and i realised when i was at the peak of my trip i saw spirits and Ghosts. and could interact with them. I know that sounds a bit crazy but i could. It was such an experience for me and sometimes i wish i could still do one for old times sake .

But my ex didn't trip as much as me. I was a consistent tripper lol. But this led to him playng tricks on me. We had 2 cats at the time that we had rescued from a cat shelter called Buster and Casper. Buster was deaf and a little grumpy but was so beautiful and cute, he would often after he learnt to trust us  (he had been abused horrifically before we got him), sit beside me and purr soooooo loud. He also didn't know how loud he miaowed either cos he was deaf so he would deafen you :D But when i tripped he would never leave me. He was always there watching me. Casper was a huge cat. A total child. He was so funny and was always up to mischief. But Buster was a lot quieter and more refined not like Casper the clown lol..anyway I'm digressing. This one time, (at band camp) :D i was tripping and Buster was on the bed. I was off my bean at the time and was lying beside him stroking him telling him how beautiful he was and all that madness when suddenly he started 'talking' back to me. I was AMAZED by this. So there was me and buster having this conversation and i was asking him how could he hear me and he replied 'i can lip read mammy' I was just amazed. I turned to my ex and said, ' can you hear Buster talking' and he was like what ? nooo.. This went on for a good 40 minutes until i started coming down and i realised it was my ex talking and the cat was just looking at me like i was mad.

Another time i was off my bean tripping and i jumped up and said 'oh my god i know where it is'  and ran out the room. My ex came running after me going what are you talking about come back.. and i exclaimed loudly as i was opening the window..THE TRUTH, THE ANSWER ITS ON THE ROOF.. and he dragged me back and said what truth and i was like i don't know but the answer to the question i don't know is up there on the roof. Another time my wall disappeared and i ended up in a pod floating through space with other pod people . We were escaping the earth as it had blown up and we were the only survivors. I know there was a lot more that happened while i tripped and I'm sure ill do more blogs as i remember different stuff on it so i guess as they say in Television... Stay Tuned for more :)

Friday, 9 March 2012

Another dream i had but this time with Naomi

So following my blog on the dream about Michael and the knights and stuff, i had had a dream the night before about my friend Naomi. Now Naomi is like my sister from another mister . Yes ...there is 2 of us. We  have this theory that we are actually the one person, she also has a blog as does Michael so check them both out too as they are both fabulous and 

Aaaaanyhos, So i was going to England ,i think to live, but Michael was working late and i got in early. He told me to go to Naomi's place by the seafront and wait there for him that he would be finished soon. So somehow i ended up inside Naomi's apartment and i asked her why she was living in Birmingham, (id like to point out Birmingham is landlocked and is nowhere near a beach or the sea) She was sitting on the bed in shorts painting her nails and toenails , she casually said, Oh I'm wanted in London' I said 'how do you mean WANTED' and she said 'oh i just have some gangsters after me so i came here to escape them' I said 'but , they can find you here' and she blew her nails and said 'Id like to see them fackin try'

Then Michael appeared and Naomi said  'im going for a shower' and i wide eyed, panicked, turned to Michael and said 'Gangsters are after her' He kind of jumped back and said 'what the fuck are we doing her, is she a nonse, did she whack someone/ and grabbed me by the shoulders. I said i don't know..I DON'T KNOW..Then Naomi came out and said 'right , i gotta go start me shift in the pub' and off she went. We ran away and got a bus.

Michael said 'oh babe, Ive to go back to work but get the bus into town and get yourself something pretty' and handed me money.. British pound notes.. But when i got on the bus i had no change and the bus driver said i cant let you on..i said 'but theres gangsters after Naomi, please i had 3 euros on me and said, please don't you know anyone who'd use euros..he felt sorry for me and said come on sit beside me...

Then again.. i woke up thinking Naomi was wanted by gangsters. Oh i should point out that it was like, 1940 Al Capone gangsters not skin headed nonse bashers. like this... 

Dreams with Michael

So last night i was playing Gran Turismo with Michael when i said 'Oh i never told you the dream i had in my afternoon snooze' and his reaction after laughing a lot was 'You have to blog about that'...Now I'm the first to admit i have weird dreams but see what you make off this...

I don't quite remember the start of it but Michael was a Knight in it and i was by his bedside as half his armour was off cos he had been horrifically burnt fighting ..lets say a dragon. He was coming out of a sleep at the time and i said 'oh thank god you re awake' he smiled and said 'oh i cant believe you re here' I kissed his forehead lightly and said 'youll be ok' Then i raised my corset and proceeded to have sex with him. lol. It was all ohh thee's and doth's everywhere..Then a shout came from within the castle 'WERE UNDER ATTACK' and i got off him and said 'i need to get you to safety' He then remarked on how i talked funny and it was then i told him my secret.

I told him i was from the future and i was time travelling back and forth to see him through a portrait within the castle. (Very Harry Potterish i know). He laughed and said 'what is this nonsense you speak of' And i said no really its true,I'm from the year 2012 ,i can show you and i can get you to safety'  Cos it turned out he was a very famous , wrongly sought after Prince and the castle was under attack cos of him.They were going to kill him.So very slowly , he was horrifically burnt after all lol, we walked down a burning open air corridor.In the distance i could see his Governess but she had her back turned to us, we snuck by her and came face to face with the portrait.

He stood by with an incredulous look on his face and was saying , 'we must flee , they seek me, we do not have time for this my fair dame' I told him to trust me and stepped through the portrait with him. We ended up in a charity shop near Michael in real life called Acorns. The portal to time travel was there you see, as you do... So we stepped out into the shop and out into the open. He was dumbfounded and kept staring around. Then he turned and saw Tescos and said 'what is this Tes....cos, what witchery is this' Then pointed to the cars and asked 'what are those metal beasts' 'i don't understand, what is this trickery'

Now the thing was no one seemed to notice a half burnt knight and a corset clad maiden standing in the middle of the street. I called a taxi or 'metal beast' to go back to Michaels present day house but i lived there instead. But that's unfortunately, where the dream ended as i woke up abruptly.

Tuesday, 6 March 2012


The Leprechaun is a type of fairy from Irish Mythology.. Leprechauns are traditionally cobblers and for hoarding gold. They are believed to come from the Tuatha De Danann (peoples of the goddess Danu) who are people in Irish Mythology. In the invasions tradition which begins with the Lebor Gabala Erenn they are the fifth group to settle Ireland, conquering the island from the Fir Bolg..If a Leprechaun is ever caught by a human , he is obliged to grant 3 wishes for hos release. The human must hold onto the leprechaun until the Leprechaun follows through with his wishes because they are known for they're trickery and deceitfulness. Even if you do manage to capture his pot of gold, be warned. By sunrise the next morning all you will find is a pile of dried up leaves. Darby O'Gill and the Little People Trailer staring Sean Connery,Janet Munro and Albert Sharpe.. Made by Disney :)

The appearance of a Leprechaun is "He is about three feet high, and is dressed in a little red jacket or roundabout, with red breeches buckled at the knee, Gray or black stockings, and a hat, cocked in the style of a century ago, over a little, old, withered face. Round his neck is an Elizabethan ruff, and frills of lace are at his wrists. On the wild west coast, where the Atlantic winds bring almost constant rains, he dispenses with ruff and frills and wears a frieze overcoat over his pretty red suit, so that, unless on the lookout for the cocked hat, ye might pass a Leprechaun on the road and never know it's himself that's in it at all."

This actually varies from each Provence in Ireland, The traditional 'green' coat is more for Trooping Fairies.. Military fairy folk, Legend has it that when the Milesians came to Ireland the Leprechauns were forced to live underground forever. The Leprechaun is related to the clurichaun and the Far Darrig, usually solitary creatures.Though many believe the Clurichaun is a Leprechaun on a drinking spree as they love a drop of whiskey but because of their size cant handle it. :) They are easier to catch when drunk :)

Leprechaun , Leprecaun , Leipreachán, Luchorpán , Luprachán, Lochramán , Loimreachán , Loragádán, Lubrican , Luchragán , Luchramán , Luprecan , Lúracán, Lurgadán , Lurikeen are all variations on the gaelic spelling of Leprachaun

There is even a Museum in Jervis Street in Dublin dedicated to the little folk.. But if you are ever in Ireland and see a wee man with a cocked hat staggering up a lonely,misty road, its best to avoid him and just keep walking. ;)