Friday, 16 December 2011

ENGLAND

So next year at some point i will move to Engerland..Fare thee well Ireland and all i know. But if the movies have taught me anything its that its a place to be feared and love. For instance Mary Poppins teaches us that most fathers in middle class England wear pipeline suits ,have stiff moustaches and hate their children. They would rather take in a clearly mentally disturbed woman,leave her with their kids and completely ignore the fact that this middle aged woman is a sorceress who makes underlined threats to your kids and forces them medicine with a spoonful of sugar...the sugar been Heroin.

But in other films the streets of London have singing chimney sweeps, HUNDREDS of them on every roof. Just singing. Theres mad pigeon woman everywhere too. You can buy a bag of bread crumbs and fed them..that's not weird at all.. On every street corner theres gangs of children, thieving. Working for a bloke called Finnegan. Every Christmas Eve you can hear the shrieks of Ebenezer Scrooge as he keeps Christmas spirit for like, 2 days then goes back to been a miser ,kicking children and aids victims everywhere he walks. Everyone has affairs, illicit children, are gay but cant come out and a single person can endure so much misery in just one day as was demonstrated on Coronation St, Eastenders etc.... But i can spend days not working in laundrettes,pubs or cafes meeting my Muslim lover while my black eunuch child trys to tell me he/shes gay.

On every corner theres a cockney, playing the old Joanna belting out war tunes while a busty pub maid brings him Eel pie but his teeth are so bad he kinda just, 'slurps' it up. All English men are either bumbling fools in love or wizards. Oh football louts too. On every match day , theres gangs on every corner with iron bars and knuckle dusters waiting for the opposing fans to appear. When in fact all they want to do is bum each other and go to card making class.

Theres a nonce in a chocolate factory who lures kids in with promises of 'lifetime worth of choclate' but offs the first four cos he reckons no one will believe the poor kid. Forever a sex slave to the nonce who never dies.

But besides all that i cant wait :D

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