Friday, 26 August 2011

Blame Al Nino

I thought this was quite amusing so ill put it up :)

Just blame Al.

El Nino's been blamed for a lot of ugly weather. So has Al Nino.

Alfonso Nino, listed in the phone book as "Al" has fielded a few calls from hotheads who for some reason think a weather phenomenon would have a telephone. Nino (pronounced NEE-no) was awakened at 2 am recently by an enraged, foul mouthed woman complaining about the weather. Nino, a retired Navy man who lives near San Luis Obispo, replied in suitably nautical language and hung up. "It's happened at least a half dozen times," Nino said. "It's always something like, Why are you doing this? And I say, "Well, I didn't really have anything else to do. I thought maybe it would be kind of fun. I usually joke around with them a bit"

Some Life Pondering Questions...

1. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

2. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

4. How do I set my laser printer on stun?

5. How is it possible to have a civil war?

6. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

7. If God dropped acid, would he see people?

8. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

9. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

10. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

11. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

12. If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?

13. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

14. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

15. Is a castrated pig disgruntled?

16. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

17. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

18. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

19. What happens when none of your bees wax?

20.. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

21. If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?

22. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

23. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

24. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

25. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they still working?

26. Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

27. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

28. And whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it?

29. Why do the drive-thru instant teller machines have brail instructions?

Wednesday, 24 August 2011

The Beginning...

Ive decided to start this blog because i have a vast knowledge of all kinds of weird stuff that I'm sure you will all be delighted to read. Stuff that will make you gasp, retch,laugh, laugh outloud, wonder in amazement, make you think or just simply, let you have stories to tell so you can feel popular when 'cool story guy comes in and hogs the limelight'
Ill introduce myself properly, I'm Tracey, but madgiraffe is cool too, I'm 31 and live in Dublin. I have an amazing boyfriend who lives in England and I'm a dedicated gamer with many consoles and games. I'm a geek if truth be told, i tick all the boxes. Sci-fi, games,glasses..yep that's me.
I'm also huge into music and like finding new bands etc to listen too. So occasionally i will put up some recommendations.I also draw and paint, haven't in a while but getting back into it. I like art n general but i love funky stoner designs and magic mushroom type art, 60's/70's psychedelic art that type of stuff. I'm a stoner and proud of the fact that I'm not a stereotypical 'movie' stoner. Seriously those stereotypes get on my
I also enjoy 'I Haz Cheezburger' so feel free to send me any amusing pictures in relation to that.In fact send me anything you want that has made you laugh or wonder in amazement and if i like it...well, you wont win anything but you ill have made me smile.And isn't that better than winning a prize :D